5 Truths About Healing That Helped Me Reclaim Myself

There was a time when I found myself in a narcissistic relationship. I didn’t realize what it was until it was over. Did I see the red flags? Yes. Did I listen to my intuition? No.

When it ended, I wasn’t just mourning the relationship. I was mourning the parts of myself I had lost. My pride, my confidence, gone. For a few days, I stayed down in that heaviness, questioning my worth and my power.

Externally, I just wanted to feel like myself again, to stand tall and move forward. Internally, I longed for confidence, freedom, and the deep peace that comes from trusting myself.

But every time I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the woman staring back. I thought, “Can I really rebuild from this? Do I even have the strength?” I had built so much of my life around this person that when it all fell apart, I didn’t just lose them, I lost my sense of who I was.

And then, I remembered fencing, my first passion. Something inside whispered that if I could pick up that sword again, I could reconnect with my inner warrior.

I made a commitment: I would use fencing not just as a sport, but as a way to rebuild my confidence. Each practice became a ritual of reclaiming my strength, one step, one lunge, one point at a time.

Of course, it wasn’t easy. Doubt crept in, my body felt rusty, and my heart heavy. Some days, walking back onto the fencing strip felt like facing my own shadow. But I showed up anyway. And that’s when the first truth revealed itself…

1. Healing is not linear.

I expected to feel stronger with every practice. Instead, some days I left in tears. Healing looked like two steps forward, one step back. It was messy, but the act of showing up mattered more than perfection.

Then something amazing happened. Coming out of retirement, I reconnected with old friends. Faces that remembered me at my prime and reminded me of the powerful woman I still was. Their encouragement helped me see myself clearly again. And in those reminders, another truth appeared.

2. You don’t have to do it alone.

I thought I had to rebuild myself in isolation, to prove I was strong on my own. But healing accelerated when I allowed support, encouragement, and connection. Others reflected back the strength I had forgotten.

And even after years away, I managed to beat some top-notch fencers. That wasn’t just a win on the strip; it was proof my strength had never truly left me. That moment taught me another lesson.

3. Your intuition always knew.

The part of me that longed to fence again, that was intuition calling me home. I had ignored my inner voice in my relationship, but reconnecting with it through fencing reminded me it was always there, waiting for me to listen.

With every practice, I realized I didn’t need to leap into a whole new version of myself. I just needed to keep taking one small, intentional step.

4. Small steps matter more than big leaps.

It wasn’t the tournaments or the big wins that healed me. It was the repetition: lacing up my shoes, stepping onto the strip, making one clean attack. Those micro-steps built the foundation for lasting confidence.

And from that strength came something even greater—the deep confidence that attracted my now-husband. Because when you reclaim your worth, you naturally attract people who see and honor it too.

5. Reclaiming yourself is the greatest gift.

I thought I had lost everything in heartbreak. But in truth, I gained something far more valuable: myself. And when I reclaimed my worth, I realized I didn’t need anyone else to validate me. The real win wasn’t on the fencing strip—it was within me.

Find Your Why

Healing is about more than moving on—it’s about moving back into yourself. For me, fencing became my “why.” It was the thing that lit me up, reminded me of who I was, and gave me joy outside of anyone else.

Your why might look different. Maybe it’s painting, hiking, writing, dancing, or simply taking time for yourself without guilt. The truth is: your why matters. It’s what brings you back to yourself when life feels heavy.

So I encourage you, find that thing that makes you feel alive. Protect it. Nurture it. Let it guide you back to you.

Reclaiming yourself starts with one choice: deciding you’re worth the time, the effort, and the love, because you are.

If you feel that tug in your heart that it’s time for change, honor it. Click below to schedule a free clarity session. Your first aligned step begins now.